I’m Back…And Better Than Ever

No.  Really.  I’ve been through some shit (and some good experiences) in the past several months and I’ve grown up a lot.  Even though I have lots of maturing to do still, and a lot of things to learn, I can take what I’ve been through and know that I am a different person now for the better.

Just as a recap, I’ve experienced my first time with:

1. Heartbreak

2. Food poisoning

3. Getting fired from a job

4. Getting a nose ring

5. Getting a tattoo

6. Planning a trip to Australia

7. Running on a regular basis (and it feels great)

8. Being honest and telling a guy whether I like him or not

9. Being honest with myself (still really working on this)

I would recommend to everyone, EVERYONE, to read Stephanie Dowrick’s book “Intimacy and Solitude.”  It’s about just that.  And she’s such a great, compassionate, approachable, and professional writer.

Anyhoo, I won’t be working on bell hooks for right now.  I’ll be doing my regular ranting posts and just post whatever my instinct tells me to.  I have missed you all so much in the feminist blogosphere, and I am happy to be back! 

P.S.:  I am thinking of doing a “Best of Houston Craigslist Men 4 Women Personals” post daily (or weekly).  Let me know what you think.  Thanks!

I hate girls but I want one!

Another great example of male arrogance and privilege courtesy of craigslist.
Asshole #2 on Craigslist:

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/nva/m4w/769379944.html

I could barely get through the first quarter of his commandments and I was simultaneously yawning and experiencing a “WTF?” moment.
What is it with guys? Really…This craigslist entry is a great example of their male entitlement. They think they can tell women what’s good for them, and then turn around and make fun of them for not knowing what’s good for themselves.
mAndrea says it best in one of her posts:

What kind of character trait is required before one can eliminate all educational opportunites for a group, and then turn around and laugh at that group because they have no education?

What kind of character trait is required before one can eliminate all job opportunities for a group, and then turn around and laugh at them because they have no alternative but to use the only thing they do have – their body – as a bargaining tool?

Really, what kind of character trait is required before one can be that much of an asshole? Because whatever kind it is, men sure do have an abundance.

Not My Nigel

Men rape. Yeah. You fuckin heard me. MEN RAPE. Men fucking rape. Men rape women and girls. Subject verb object. Strangely enough, in discussions of rape, the subject seems to have suddenly disappeared from the equation.

It took me a long time to really realize that rape can’t really happen on the incredibly grandiose scale that it does without a lot of damned men raping lots of women. It doesn’t matter that a male just happens to be your father, brother, son, uncle, boyfriend, whatever. They can rape, and many of them are intent on raping women and girls. Coming to this realization when it comes to the men in my life is a real struggle, and it’s incredibly hard to grasp and accept. But grasp and accept I will. Because if I don’t recognize that many, if not most, men rape or are intent to rape then I am doing a real disservice to women and girls all around me who have been the victims of rape.
When we know that roughly 6 out of 10 men are willing to rape a woman if said males know they can get away with it (I remember distinctly a study once done at a Rhode Island college or institution showing that 60% of males polled said they would rape a woman if they knew they could get away with it)*, then why the hell are some of us feminists so hell-bent on defending men? Why do some of us respond by saying that there’s a small number of men that don’t, or would not, rape? And what is that barely 40% of men who have not or would not rape (on account of not being caught for the act, FFS) doing or not doing about their male friends, family, and coworkers raping women?:

http://witchywoo.wordpress.com/2008/07/13/much-is-being-made-of/#comments

So take 10 men or boys in a room. At least 6 of those men or boys would rape a woman if they knew they could get away with it. Let’s let that marinade a little, shall we? How many men do you walk by in public each day? How many men do you have in your family? How many boyfriends? Spouses? How many do you think have raped or will rape a woman or girl in their lifetime? We always talk about how many women get raped (as if by some invisible, intangible fuckin force) but let’s just get down to the root of the problem here: how many men rape? Because if at least 1 out of 4 women have been or will be victims of rape at least once in their lifetime before they even hit their middle ages, that’s a lot of damned men out there raping women. Nearly 80% of rapes are committed by men or boys that the female victim is very acquainted with or knows well. That means that there’s just boatloads of boyfriends, fathers, uncles, sons, brothers, husbands, and male relatives raping women and girls in homes, in clubs, in cars, in porn studios, etc.

I would like to know why people ask us to be nice to men, to defend the “innocent” men, to not be suspicious of men, when quite a good number of them do this shit to us:

http://littoralmermaid.wordpress.com/2008/07/20/this-needs-to-end-now/

http://sparklematrix.wordpress.com/2008/07/22/radovan-karadzicarrested-for-war-crimes-former-yugoslavia/

http://www.womanist-musings.com/2008/07/colluders-justify-rape-of-11-year-old.html

http://www.womensspace.org/phpBB2/2008/07/21/women-terrorized-under-fundamentalism/

I could provide yet another hundred more examples of the atrocities committed every damned day by men against women and girls.
So I ask, again: how can someone look a woman in the face, a woman who has every valid reason to be suspicious of men, and tell her that her decision or compulsion to be suspicious of men is a form of “discrimination”?

Phemisaurus brilliantly makes fun of this “reverse discrimination” idea here.

So, fellow feminists, women’s liberationists, womanists. Look around you. How many men?

*this is a conservative estimate, 60%. Because even on anonymous surveys people believe themselves to be “better” than they actually are.

Ah, Craigslist…

Such are the self-centered romantic and repulsive seductive personals submitted by arrogant, misogynist assholes on Washington D.C.’s craigslist:

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/m4w/765051690.html

Now, typically when I come across male asshole rants on craigslist I laugh it off and move on*, but I decided to write this nasty little booger a nice email reply:

“Go fuck yourself.

-Sincerely,
An intelligent, cynical, and embittered woman”

This is the response I got:

“WOW..really? you’re not a feminist at all eh? Now I’d kindly ask you to return the favor of fucking themselves but I fear you’d enjoy it a bit much…?”

Haha, oh but I am darling, I am. More than you’ll ever know Who is “themselves”?? Hmm.

Go ahead and send Sunny Deo (sunnyd.rr@gmail.com) your best wishes in reminding him that not all women are the same. Lawd knows he needs more than a “cunty compatriot” for his dating and screwing needs.

*one of the best things to do when you are super bored at work with nothing to do (and if you have access to a computer) is to go on Craigslist and browse through the god-awful “men seeking women” personals on craigslist. You might either spontaneously combust OR laugh your head off OR shudder in fright. Good times, good times.